We Hate Having Our Photo Taken! Engagement Shoots Are Great!

I hear so many of my wedding couples say, “We hate having our photo taken!” and I find that really sad. Your wedding day should be one of the best days of your life, not a time for anxiety.

Are you a camera-shy future bride or groom? Have you spent years avoiding the camera, not knowing how to pose, or forcing smiles just to get the moment over with? Trust me, you are definitely not alone, and this article is a must read for you. I’m going to explain to you the true benefits of having an engagement photoshoot, the perfect way to learn to trust your photographer and relax in front of the camera.

You don’t need to know how to pose. You don’t need to be naturally confident in front of a camera. And you absolutely don’t need to practise your best Instagram smile before we meet.

But We Both Hate Having Our Photo Taken!

That’s absolutely fine. In fact you’d be surprised how many people, despite the trend for selfies and perfect social media posts, feel exactly the same way.

The first thing I’ll say to you is most of the couples I photograph aren’t celebrities or models. They’re normal people who aren’t used to having someone follow them around with a camera. Being photographed professionally isn’t something most of us do very often.

So when couples tell me:

• “We hate having our photo taken!”
• “We’re going to be terrible at this.”
• “I always look really awkward in photos.”

I usually smile. Because my job isn’t to photograph people who already know how to pose for the perfect picture. My job is to make you feel comfortable, relaxed, and natural, to forget that you’re being photographed in the first place. That’s how I achieve the best wedding photography for my couples, that’s the core of my work as a professional wedding photographer.

Consider an Engagement Photoshoot

Whenever a couple tells me, “We hate having our photo taken”, I always suggest to them an engagement photoshoot. This is not to push my sales, and it certainly does not mean we are going to spend hours practicing poses for your wedding. Quite the opposite. It’s an opportunity for us to start working together, have some fun, and get to know and trust one another.

My photography style is relaxed and natural, so an engagement photoshoot gives me the opportunity to learn about you.

• How do you naturally interact?
• Who makes the other laugh?
• Are you affectionate or constantly taking the mickey out of each other?
• Do you naturally hold hands when you walk?

I find all those little details far more interesting than creating the ‘perfect pose’. Yes, I’ll give you gentle direction when you need it, but I’m never going to make you stand somewhere feeling awkward and unnatural.

Think Date Night, Not Engagement Photoshoot

This is how I prefer couples to approach their engagement photoshoot.

Don’t think:

“We hate having our photo taken, how is this going to help?”

Think:

“We’re going somewhere lovely together for an hour.”

We might wander through the Bedfordshire countryside, explore somewhere that’s special to you, stop for a coffee or head somewhere beautiful as the sun begins to set.

You’ll walk. You’ll chat. You’ll probably take the mickey out of each other. There will almost certainly be laughing. And during all that, I’ll take photographs. It really is that simple.

Choose Somewhere That Feels Like You

Your engagement photoshoot doesn’t need an elaborate location. In fact, somewhere you already feel comfortable can be much better. Here’s a few suggestions:

• Perhaps there’s a woodland where you regularly walk perhaps with your dog.
• Maybe you love wandering around a particular town on a Sunday morning.
• It could be where you had your first date.
• Your favourite restaurant or café.
• Or simply a gorgeous piece of Bedfordshire countryside – Here’s a link to inspire some ideas.

You could even make a day of it. Go for lunch, have your engagement shoot and then head off to watch a film or have cocktails afterwards. Now we’re talking!

The location is really just the backdrop. Somewhere where you will both feel comfortable. The important bit is the two of you.

“But What Do We Actually Do?”

Another question I hear a lot. The answer is, “surprisingly little”. If you have told me “We hate having our photo taken!” I’m not going to abandon you in a field and shout, “Right, be romantic!” Because frankly, nobody needs that kind of pressure.

I’ll give you little prompts and suggestions that create movement and interaction rather than stiff poses.

• We might walk together.
• I’ll get you talking.
• You might have a cuddle.
• I might deliberately encourage one of you to tease the other.
• Sometimes I’ll simply step back and let something happen.

Because, from my experience, the photographs you’ll love most aren’t necessarily the ones where you’re both looking perfectly at the camera. They’re often the little moments in between.

• The laugh.
• The glance.
• The ridiculous joke.
• The way one of you automatically reaches for the other’s hand.

That’s you. That’s your natural relationship. And that’s what I want to photograph.

The First Ten Minutes Might Feel Weird

There. I’ve said it. If you’ve never had a professional photoshoot before, there’s every chance the first few minutes will feel a little strange. There’s suddenly a woman with a camera following you around. That’s not exactly an everyday occurrence, but something interesting normally happens. After ten minutes or so, you stop thinking about me.

You start talking to each other.

You start laughing.

Your shoulders drop.

And that’s usually when someone says: “Actually… this isn’t as bad as I thought.” In fact, I regularly hear, “That was actually really fun.”

Actually… this isn’t as bad as I thought.”By the end, the reaction is very often:“That was actually really fun!”

Mission accomplished.

That Is Why Engagement Photoshoots Help Your Wedding Photography

“We hate having our photo taken” is a statement that usually dissipates after an engagement photoshoot. That’s what makes them so important.

Imagine arriving at your wedding having never been professionally photographed together. You’re already emotional. Everyone is looking at you. There’s a schedule. Your friends and family are everywhere. And now it’s time for couple photographs. You feel awkward, self-conscious, and just want to get them done. Do you really think those images are going to match the vision you had for your wedding day?

Compare that with arriving at your wedding knowing exactly what it’s like to be photographed by me. You know my personality and my style. I’ll spend a surprising amount of time with you on your wedding day, so having already spent some relaxed time together with me makes everything feel much more natural when the big day arrives.

I’m no longer simply the photographer turning up in the morning. I’m Catherine. And we’ve already had a laugh together.

• You’ve already discovered that I’m not going to make you spend hours posing.
• You know I’ll give you direction when you need it.
• You know we can have a giggle.
• Most importantly, you know you can trust me.

So when I suggest slipping away from the reception for ten minutes because the light outside is absolutely gorgeous, you’re not thinking:

“Oh God. Photos.”

You’re thinking:

“Yep. Catherine’s got this.”

And that difference in confidence can be enormous.

What Should We Wear for an Engagement Photoshoot?

Another thing couples tend to overthink. My advice? Wear something that feels like you, just slightly more polished.

You don’t need matching outfits and you certainly don’t need to buy something completely different from anything you’d normally wear. Choose clothes you feel comfortable and confident in. Neutral and complementary colours tend to photograph beautifully, while very large logos or extremely busy patterns can sometimes distract from the photograph.

And think about where we’re going. If we’re wandering through woodland in October, stilettos probably aren’t going to make the experience particularly relaxing. Comfort matters. Because if you’re uncomfortable, you’ll feel it and it’ll show.

Can We Bring the Dog?

If your dog is part of your family, absolutely. In fact, bringing your dog can be brilliant if you’re nervous about being photographed. They give you something familiar to concentrate on, create natural movement and almost guarantee some completely unscripted moments.

Speaking as someone with a Cockapoo, however, I make absolutely no promises about canine cooperation. Mind you, sometimes chaos makes the best photographs anyway.

It’s also a great idea to bring your dog if they are going to feature as part of your wedding party. They also get a change to know me before the special day, which usually helps them to settle more quickly for those very important wedding photos they’ll appear in.

What Can We Do With Our Engagement Photos?

Once you’ve got a gallery of photographs you actually love, there are loads of ways you can use them. They can be perfect for save-the-dates, your wedding website, invitations, a signing book, framed photographs at your wedding reception or simply gorgeous photographs for your home.

But I think there’s another reason that’s even more important. Your engagement is part of your story too. There’s a strange period between “Will you marry me?” and “I do” where life becomes full of venue visits, spreadsheets, suppliers and seating plans.

An engagement shoot gives you something that documents the two of you before the wedding day.

• No wedding dress.
• No suits.
• No guests.
• Just you.

And I think that’s rather lovely.

So, Are you Still Thinking, “We Hate Having Our Photo Taken”?

Here’s something I’d love you to remember. Being photogenic isn’t a skill you either have or don’t have. Great photographs come from feeling comfortable enough to be yourself.

• You don’t need to perform for my camera.
• You don’t need to know your “best side”.
• And you definitely don’t need to spend the entire session smiling directly at me.

You just need to turn up as yourselves. I’ll take care of the rest.

So, if you’re planning your wedding and thinking, “We hate having our photo taken!”, perhaps an engagement photoshoot isn’t something you should avoid. Perhaps it’s exactly what you need.

Take a look at my engagement photoshoot portfolio, or get in touch and let’s plan your engagement photoshoot and wedding together.

Engagement Photoshoot FAQs