For many couples, the thought of wedding speeches brings a mixture of excitement and nerves. They can be one of the most emotional, funniest and memorable parts of your wedding day—but they don’t have to follow a strict rulebook.
Over the last few years, I’ve photographed weddings across Bedfordshire, Hertfordshire, Cambridgeshire, Buckinghamshire and beyond, and one thing has become clear: couples are making their weddings far more personal. That includes completely rethinking who gives speeches and when they happen.
Whether you’re planning a traditional wedding or something that breaks every convention, here’s everything you need to know.
The Traditional Wedding Speech Order
Traditionally, speeches take place after the wedding breakfast but before the evening party begins.
The usual order is:
Father of the Bride
Historically, the father of the bride welcomed guests, thanked everyone for attending and shared stories about his daughter before welcoming the groom into the family.
Typical topics include:
- Welcoming guests
- Thanking everyone involved
- Childhood memories
- Warm wishes for the couple
Groom’s Speech
The groom traditionally follows by:
- Thanking guests
- Thanking both sets of parents
- Thanking the wedding party
- Thanking their new spouse
- Giving gifts to attendants
This is often where heartfelt emotion meets a little humour.
Best Man’s Speech
Usually the funniest speech of the day.
The best man will often:
- Share funny stories
- Talk about the couple
- Congratulate the newlyweds
- Finish with a toast
The best speeches are humorous without becoming embarrassing.
Are Traditional Wedding Speeches Still Popular?
Absolutely—but they’re no longer the only option.
Today’s weddings are much more about celebrating your personalities than following tradition.
Many couples choose to adapt the format to suit their family dynamics and relationships.
I’ve photographed weddings where:
- The bride gave the funniest speech of the day.
- Both partners spoke together.
- Mums replaced dads.
- Grandparents gave speeches.
- Children shared a few heartfelt words.
- There wasn’t a single formal speech.
Every one of them felt authentic because it reflected the couple.
Modern Wedding Speech Ideas
The Couple Give a Joint Speech
Increasingly popular, especially with relaxed weddings.
Instead of separate speeches, couples thank everyone together before sharing their favourite memories from planning the wedding.
It feels natural, inclusive and often takes away some of the nerves.
The Bride Gives a Speech
One tradition many couples happily ignore is the expectation that only the groom speaks.
Many brides now choose to:
- Thank guests
- Tell their own love story
- Thank family and friends
- Surprise everyone with humour
As a photographer, these often produce some of the biggest laughs—and some of the biggest tears.
Parents Speak Together
Rather than just the father of the bride, many families now have:
- Both parents speaking
- Two mums
- Two dads
- A step-parent
- A grandparent
- A sibling
It’s a lovely way to reflect modern families.
Maid of Honour Speech
Why should the best man have all the fun?
Many weddings now include:
- Maid of Honour
- Bridesmaid
- Bridesman
- Man of Honour
These speeches are often wonderfully emotional because they’ve shared so many life experiences with the bride.
Open Microphone
For smaller weddings, some couples invite guests to share a memory or quick story.
This works particularly well for intimate weddings with close family and friends.
Just remember to appoint someone to keep everyone on schedule!
Speeches Before the Meal
An increasingly popular option.
Instead of everyone worrying throughout dinner, speeches happen immediately after guests are seated.
Benefits include:
- Speakers relax sooner
- Guests stay engaged
- More time for photographs afterwards
- A smoother flow into the evening
Tips for Giving a Great Wedding Speech
Whether you’re the bride, groom, parent or best friend, these tips make a huge difference.
Keep it Short
Aim for around 5–8 minutes.
Guests will remember a brilliant five-minute speech far longer than a twenty-minute one.
Tell Stories
Instead of listing achievements, tell stories.
Stories create laughter, emotion and genuine connection.
Speak Naturally
Nobody expects perfection.
Speak as though you’re chatting to friends.
Practice
Reading it aloud several times helps calm nerves and improves timing.
Don’t Drink Too Much First
A little Dutch courage is fine.
Too much rarely improves delivery!
As Your Wedding Photographer, Speeches Are One of My Favourite Parts of the Day
As a Bedfordshire wedding photographer, speeches are where real emotions shine.
This is when:
- Parents become emotional.
- Friends laugh until they cry.
- Grandparents beam with pride.
- Couples exchange knowing glances.
- Guests wipe away happy tears.
Some of my favourite photographs have been captured during speeches—not because people are posing, but because they’re completely in the moment.
These genuine reactions often become the images couples treasure most years later.
There Are No Rules
The biggest trend I’m seeing in modern weddings is simple:
Do what feels right for you.
If you want:
- The bride to speak first
- Both partners to speak together
- No speeches at all
- Speeches before dinner
- Multiple family members speaking
Go for it.
That same relaxed approach starts long before the wedding day. An Engagement Shoot is a wonderful way for us to get to know each other, helping you feel comfortable in front of the camera before your wedding.
Frequently Asked Questions About Wedding Speeches
Who traditionally gives wedding speeches?
Traditionally, the father of the bride, groom and best man give speeches, although many modern weddings now include brides, mums, siblings and close friends.
Does the bride have to give a speech?
Not at all—but many brides now choose to. Modern weddings have no fixed rules, and many couples enjoy hearing from both partners.
How long should wedding speeches be?
Aim for around 5–8 minutes. Short, meaningful speeches usually have the biggest impact.
Can wedding speeches happen before the meal?
Yes. Many couples now have speeches before dinner so everyone can relax and enjoy the rest of the day.
Do you need wedding speeches at all?
Absolutely not. If speeches don’t suit your personalities or wedding style, there’s no obligation to include them.
Final Thoughts
Wedding speeches have evolved beautifully over the years.
While traditional speeches remain timeless, modern couples are creating celebrations that truly reflect who they are and the people they love.
Whether you choose classic speeches, a joint speech, or no speeches at all, the most memorable moments are always the ones that feel genuine.
As a Bedfordshire wedding photographer, I know that some of the most treasured images are captured during the speeches. Every couple booking one of my Wedding Photography Packages discovers that these unscripted moments often become their favourite photographs.
f you’re looking for a relaxed Bedfordshire wedding photographer who’ll capture every laugh, every tear and every genuine reaction throughout your day, I’d love to hear all about your plans. Get in touch to check my availability, and let’s create photographs you’ll treasure for a lifetime.
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